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Jerry Jerry

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Better than I expected, but...

Well, damn. I have to say that, at the beginning, I wasn't expecting much. I've seen plenty of TV shows, movies, and animations that use the exact same format: average Joe (or Jerry, I suppose) with an empty life goes through the exact same thing every day until he's driven to madness. I've seen plenty that use the same damn format, too. Alarm, breakfast, work, etc.; its all been done before. Even the ending was incredibly predictable.

Still, despite the lack of originality, I was laughing pretty hard. The biggest advantage was the body language and the facial expressions. The guy is just goofy (and as a result, kinda likable), and that carried over into every scene. He looks goofy when he wakes up, he looks goofy when he's having sex, and he looks goofy drunk (although, admittedly, the last two are pretty goofy in real life too). A few bursts of inspiration also helped to spice things up (the wallet bit was hilarious).

Ultimately, this flash isn't funny because of the content, per se, but because of the delivery. Use your character designs/expressions with a bit more originality, and I can definitely see some amazing flashes in the future. As of right now, this is just a really good one.

Oh, and to the guy/gal before me: a condom doesn't mean shit if it breaks. Or, if you're just plain unlucky. So, uh, keep that in mind kiddo ;)


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666BloodyFuck 666BloodyFuck

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Well, that was interesting

I had a lot more fun reading through the reviews for this flash than I did actually watching the flash. There's a lot of flaming coming from both sides, but when it comes to actual critiquing, there's slim to none. The main problem I have is that you obviously have no intentions of learning from any critique given. Someone says "good, but make it longer," and you readily respond "no," or "I'm too lazy." This flash is obviously made by someone skilled, and no one can deny that; but superb production doesn't equal superb entertainment. The large, overwhemling majority of viewers are not going to be entertained by a single image; either take the advice and expand, or stop complaining when people flame your work. I think we both know that if you put some effort into this, you could have made something great; but you didn't, and refuse to do so, and as a result you're stuck with Turd of the Week, an award that's aptly deserved. But, for my review.

The name of the flash automatically had me skeptical (although, I saw "Turd of the Week" first, so I was probably already a bit skeptical). Something that you want taken seriously probably shouldn't be named "666BloodyFuck". Sort of ruins the mood, kid. The nature of the flash had me expecting a screamer, so it was a bit difficult to enjoy at first, since I had my guard up. Once I decided it'd keep looping, though, I realized it wasn't that bad. The drawing is very well done, there's a lot of detail to be observed, and the effects are slightly tantalizing, if that's the word. The music fit in nicely as well, nice to listen to. A better title might have prevented the lowered expectations, though. The real complaint, obviously, is the length of the flash; twenty seconds into it, you realize "this is it," and you exit out. Hardly entertaining.

I'm very aware of how difficult Flash is to work with, and how much work even this short, uninspired Flash must have required. As a reviewer, however, its not my duty to say "aww, poor kid, this really wasn't that great, but it must have been SO hard to do!" Every damn thing submitted to this site requires someone to work in Flash; why should anyone give your work the benefit of the doubt over anybody elses? You submit to Newgrounds, and we expect you know how to work with Flash. Its our job to determine how well you worked with it. And, as everybody's made clear, you haven't worked well with it at all.

Oh, and a final note. No, I don't use Flash. But the assertion that someone who doesn't use Flash can't critique it is ridiculous and a cop-out. Do Ebert and Roper direct films? No. But everyone shuts up and listens when they critique them. So take the hint and do the same.


Sir-CannabisClock responds:

let me start out by saying if every reviewer was like you, I would shut the fuck up and make a decent flash.

However, I'm not asking for sympathy, your taking that out of context. what I am asking for is people not to review like a retarded kid who's seen something that scared him.

Let me be frank with you. All is good an well to make a flash, but every day I see at least 5 movies that are in blue label, that are completely mind blowing, that get thrown a quick daily award and completely forgotten. Meanwhile, "Backdoor sluts 9 dress up game hentai tentacle rape" gets front page for 6 years for all the 13 year old kids to fap off to.

My point? Why bother, unless my skill is mind blowingly awesome there is no guarrentee my days of work will not be flown by as if it were nothing. I don't have a tablet, so making flash is at least 6 times harder then it would be with one.(which also explains why my character is a bit off, as some people pointed out).

Thats all, and thank you for taking the time to voice yourself.


Santa Vs Satan Santa Vs Satan

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

For the love of...

...if one more person complains about the idea of Satan being nice, I'm going to tear my damn hair out. It was more than obvious that the "Satan" in your flash wasn't supposed to be a realistic depiction of the Christian antagonist. I'm willing to bet that most of you've watched South Park; how come no one has a problem with that particular "paradox," since the Satan in South Park is a nice guy too? Since this movie obviously isn't a damn theological doctrine, why should you think it "promotes" Satan in any way, shape, or form? Unlike some of these zealous idiots, I recognized that you were using the basic concept of "Satan" instead of the actual entity. Satan supposedly represents evil; Santa represents good. However, all Satan ever wanted was to be good as well; it was the cruel actions of other people which prevented him from doing so. Therefore, the message is that we, basic people, are responsible for both the evil and the good in this world; how is that message so perverse from Christianity? Of course, I could always point out that no one has any proof of Satan's existance, so marking someone down for twisting the role of an imaginary creature is pretty sad.

Now that I got that out of my system, I'll actually talk about your flash! First and foremost, I like the concept. I never really thought about it before, but the words "Santa" and "Satan" are dangerously close, they both wear red, they both know when you're "naughty or nice," and they both represent an opposite end of the spectrum. Unfortunately, plot-wise, the flash fell flat at the end. The lines about spreading love were so ridiculously corny that I wasn't sure if I heard correctly. There's more creative ways to introduce the same point.

The music was superb, and it was really your choice in music that got you a 5/5 rating from me. Even though the plot fell flat at the end of the movie, the ending music was so emotionally charged and well placed that I almost completely forgot about it. An epic song can detract from a not-so-epic plotline, apparently. Honestly, I still have the window pulled up, so I can listen to the song while I'm typing this :) The song for the fight scene was nice as well, and I liked how you synched Santa's final attacks with the music, although it did seem a bit slow.

I liked the character designs; Santa was perfect, by the way. You slimmed him down just enough so that the fight scene wasn't goofy, but not so much that he just looked goofy in general. Satan could have been a bit more evil-lookin', which would have made his good intentions even more of a twist, but right now he does just look like an imp. The design for younger Satan was perfect, though. Unfortunately, not only was the voice-acting a little off, but the voices didn't really fit the characters, if you asked me. Satan's voice desperately needs a makeover.

Not much to say about the fight scene; I enjoyed it, but I felt there could have been more real substance to it. Otherwise, it was fine, escpecially Santa's final moves.

Ultimately, though, you made an interesting flash out of an original idea with a superb production quality; hell, you made some people cry! Who on Newgrounds can honestly say they've made somebody cry? Plus, you did something with an actual, positive moral, and still managed to piss the fundamentalists off, and both of those things are bonus points in my book. Great flash, and I look forward to more.

Damn, was this review long...I need to get off the caffeine....


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Recent Game Reviews


After Years In Dark Tunne After Years In Dark Tunne

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Frustrating

I really enjoyed the atmosphere and the concept. The jumping was a little unresponsive at times, and after a while, I found the constant praying to be a bit of nuisance. My main complaint is A) a lack of any sort of map, and B) the slow, boring rate of exploration. Honestly, my second complaint wouldn't matter if you fixed the first. I don't think you should have a map right off the bat; but after exploring for a bit, you definitely need something to aid your progress. I got to the point where I had all the ship parts, all the personal items, and all but one body and one ghost. After crawling around for what felt like forever, I couldn't find the remaining body and ghost, so I just gave up. It would have been nice, after all that work, to have something point me in the right direction; I really wanted to open that temple door.


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The Day (Gregory Weir) The Day (Gregory Weir)

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Interesting concept

Well, I like the concept a lot, but I have to admit that I didn't think too highly of game until after I read the developer's notes (and maybe that's part of the point?). After being told not to go into the trees, I immediately went into the trees, and so before I even walked around town, talked to the adults, or saw the rotating cameras, the "truth" of this "town" was shoved right into my face. I then played through again, this time doing the card game, which was subsequently underwhelming.

Since this game is mostly an experiment, I can understand why you didn't want to flesh things out a little bit more. But, as an experiment, the game is too limited to provide much insight. It's true that video games often have one linear path to walk, but its equally important to ask how something so simple can be so compelling. In a lot of games, the "carrot on a stick" approach, with constant upgrades/level-ups/equipment/etc. offered as incentives, seems to work well; in others, its the story or the atmosphere; in others, its simply the gameplay and the gameplay alone. My point is that, in your game, the gamer doesn't have to commit to anything. We don't have to invest much time, we don't have to exercise any skill, there's nothing to lose and nothing to gain. So whether we go into the woods or play the card game, its all kind of arbitrary. Or maybe that's your point? Tell me if you're two steps ahead of me, Gregory!

Ultimately, I liked your concept, but your game is very short and rather uninvolved, so it only deals with a very minute, limited aspect of videogames. And as a game itself, it offers too little to warrant a higher score.


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Ninjas vs Mafia Deluxe Ninjas vs Mafia Deluxe

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Well, I'd LIKE to play...

What can I say? The game looks interesting, and I was excited to play it; I like RPGs, and it seemed like there was a lot of upgrade options, which is another thing I look for in a flash game. But I ran into the same problem as several other reviewers: namely, after I beat the Mafia boss, the game stops working, and its impossible to click anything. I tried it three different times, once in a pop-out window, and the same thing happened. If it was just me, I wouldn't bother writing a review; but since this is a recurring problem, I'm willing to blame it on the game. My computer is fairly good, for the record.

On a side note, while the game looks like its fun to play, and the detail is very well done is some areas, I do agree that the presentation is uneven. The main menu, the map, as well as the introductory white screen just kind of feel rushed, like you got tired of making the game and just wanted to upload it already.


Recent Audio Reviews


The Earth is Doomed The Earth is Doomed

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Pretty sweet, amigo

Me like, yes? My only suggestion at this point would be to decrease the amount of time inbetween new layers of the song. It sounds really sweet with all the bells going at the same time, but it does take a bit too long to get there.

Also, I heard STANMARSH1234 likes to perform fellatio on his kittens.


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~TT~ Techno ~TT~ Techno

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

That's What I'm Talking About!

Very well done, sir. As I believe I stated on the Starcraft Techno song, the melody is pretty bangin'. You're becoming very good at variation, and I noticed that very little of the song is reused. The background melody (and beat of course) is detectable throughout the song, but the actual song itself morphs from point to point like it can't sit still. The "main" melody (at 0:15) is very nice, as is the transformation at 0:52. Above all else, however, the rising bit at 2:00ish takes the song to a very clean climax before you wind down to the end. Speaking of which, your ending was very well-placed again. Nothing special, but I didn't think the song ended pre-maturely, which is all that really matters.

By the way, its very interesting that you don't listen to a huge amount of electronic music. Even if you're searching for your own sound (which you've honestly begun to find, in my opinion), I'd consider at least sampling the field. After all, part of finding your own sound is discovering what you like about other's. Anyway, if you get bored, try listening to Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin, or Orbital. If nothing else, you'll know where I'm coming from when I reference them in reviews :)

Keep up the good work.


Twistedtechnology responds:

XDDD Im glad you think im beginging to find my own sound XD. Now, believe you me, i have sampled the field here and there, and honsetly im more than 87% dissapointed with what i hear.....at least out of the 170+ techno songs my frind has on cd. Hattaway's "what is love" is still by far my favorite piece of electronic music..thats the old-school goodness right there!

There are a few other songs on there he has that i really like, but i dont know the name of the songs or the composers so yea :\

Next time i get a chance i will definately check those guys out XD

Thanks for the review!!!

~Twistedtechnology!


Trance of Doom Trance of Doom

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Eh.

Not too great, compadre. Probably your worst song, actually. Mr. Green Apple there summarizes everything for me; no variation, no build-up, and nothing particularly note-worthy. With that said, its amazing how your music has evolved from 2006 to 2007. Midnight Opiate is so far beyond this song's league, its not even funny.


Twistedtechnology responds:

Oh my God do i know it. Everytime i make a new song, i sit there and listen to it for 30 minutes straight thinking just how far i've come from making stuff like...well.....this lol. Again, as i told Senor Apple, im hoesntly surprised this song is anything over a 2.37......cuz its not that great at all. I think this ones intent was more for a flash-loop than anything, but i guess it wasnt even good enough for that lol!!!!

Yea...this song blows XD

Thanks for the review anyway man!!

~Twistedtechnology